I recently have been craving sweets. As the weather in Houston started warming up and with the sun shining brighter, I found myself craving smoothies.
To save money and of course calories, I decided to buy a Magic Bullet. I bought mine at Target for the same price as Amazon.
Since buying the small blender I have started making video recipes! I’m always trying new combinations of ingredients and finding ways to make easy, clean recipes.
Feel free to send me ideas, questions or comments.
Here is my first video of many!
All I could see were mountains in front of me with no guarantee of what was on the other side. I knew what I wanted, but how could I be sure that if I started climbing, I would make it to the other side and find what I was seeking?
A lot can change in 365 days. As I close the chapter on year 30 and turn the first pages of 31, I can’t help but take time to reflect on the past year. There is a quote that says “never give up on your dreams or goals because of the time it will take to get there, the time will pass regardless.” If I were to offer you one bit of inspiration today it would be just that, never give up. When I think back to where I was a year ago, “today” seemed impossible, it seemed out of reach and far too overwhelming. All I could see were mountains in front of me with no guarantee of what was on the other side. I knew what I wanted, but how could I be sure that if I started climbing, I would make it to the other side and find what I was seeking?
I decided that taking the risk of climbing was better than staying put and wondering what could have been. Everyone has his or her own version of a mountain. For some it can be weight loss, finishing that college degree, for others it can be finding their purpose. For me, it was being brave enough to follow my heart and let go of old comforts.
A word of caution to those who decide the mountain is worth climbing: Not many will understand why you set out on your journey, hence why it’s your journey. I warn you that you will question yourself when others question you, you will want to quit when you haven’t made it a half a mile into the trip, 3 miles, 5 miles…. So how do you make it over?
Put on your blinders and your earmuffs! Write down where you want to be when you get to the other side. Do you want to get to a certain size or weight? Do you want to land a sweet job with your shiny new degree? Is it finding fulfillment in knowing your purpose? Whatever you want to accomplish, put it somewhere in writing and share it with someone who will encourage you and support you. On the flip side, seriously think about where you would be if you stopped climbing and went back to the bottom of the mountain, back where you started. Back to where it was perhaps comfortable, tolerable or at the very least, familiar. Be actively conscious of your growth, keep track of where you’ve been and be aware of where you’re headed.
The journey is not an easy one, the wind will come, storms will blow in, and people will try to make you to quit. I can tell you this, if you stick to your path, if you don’t let the naysayers and the temporary pain hold you back, IT WILL BE WORTH IT. I have yet to hear anyone say “I regret losing all that weight and bringing sexy back” or “jeeze I wish I didn’t find my purpose it life, this is far too fulfilling for me”.
When I look back on my 30th year, I see a lot of pain and a lot of struggles. But, the whole year, I knew I was digging for the diamond in the rough, that there was going to be that moment when things started going my way. In the past year, among my many journeys, the biggest and scariest was my divorce. When we decided to go through with it, my goal was to come out stronger, more confident and to grow in positive ways. Many people come out of a divorce beat up, angry, full of resentment and hurt. I didn’t want anything to do with that and so I didn’t. I am fortunate that we were able to peacefully take separate paths, which allows us to be our authentic selves. I can also say that I still truly love and care about my wasband (was my husband… because that sounds so much better than ex) as a dear friend and a wonderful, loving father to our son.
Within the last 365 days I grew, I became stronger and climbing that mountain has given me a refreshed confidence, topped with happiness knowing I accomplished what I set out to do.
Time will pass with or without you; will you take the first step to climb your mountain?
Trust in the process. Have faith. Hard times will come and that’s a guarantee, how you handle them and what you learn from them, not that is up to you.
On this journey as a fitness model and competitor, I have learned many life lessons. I have come to realize that many of the lessons I’ve learned through training for a show and competing can be applied to every day life. Today I want to write about a very simple but significant lesson I’ve learned; trusting the process.
I’ve been sitting on this topic for about two months now as I was putting the very concept of “trusting the process” to test in my personal life. Now, one thing I know for sure is that if you follow a good nutrition and exercise program you will see good results. I know this from my fitness competition days where I personally experienced having to trust the process and seeing it work magic on my body. However, when it comes to real life events and trusting that everything happens for a reason, it can be a little more challenging for me to sit back and trust that everything will turn out okay.
Let me tell you how I put trusting the process to the test. Two months ago I walked away from a job without another one lined up and not even any prospects. I was stressed out of my mind, I have these reoccurring bills that seem to come at me every month. Not only that, but I would need money to buy chicken and egg whites and of course take my son, Christian to Target, the place I easily spend a $100 when I just went in for one thing. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about ladies! On the flip side, if I wanted to get all crazy, I had another option; not working and spending the next two months with Christian living like a free spirited human no longer chained to a desk.
So began the internal struggle, the planner, controlling side of me said to “get a job now” and the calm, cool and collected side said “stop and enjoy the summer with Christian”. After some struggling I decided to spend the next two months kicking it with Christian. I was fortunate enough to be able to cover my expenses for this time period so I decided to take advantage of it. I would TRUST that the right job would come at the right time. Summers are my time to spend with Christian and how perfect it turned out that I was able to spend the next two months with him instead of dropping him off at the daycare then gazing out my office window wishing I was with him at the pool instead. We had a wonderful and memorable two months together! Then in perfect timing an awesome job opportunity presented itself. Christian would soon be leaving and I would be able to start my new job a week after he left. The timing, and the opportunity were perfect, better than I could have planned. You might think it to be a simple coincidence. I’d like to think it’s because I chose to follow my heart, let go of the need to be in control and to just trust the process. I had my doubts many times, but I could either sit around and stress, or let go and trust.
The “process” as I refer to it are the events that happen to us, most of the time they are unexpected and can often times be hardships we go through. I am still learning to trust that each event is happening or has happened for a reason. If we allow them, these experiences can be an opportunity for growth, or just simply an opportunity to see things in a different light. It also makes things a lot less stressful. I mean when you think about it, sitting around worrying is a lot of hard work and wasted energy. Hard times will come and that’s a guarantee, how you handle them and what you learn from them, not that is up to you. Trust the process.
Change is inevitable, growth is optional. -John Maxwell
This quote sums up the last days, weeks, months and even years of my life. Change used to be something that I thought I controlled. For as long as I can remember, I was a planner. I liked to plan often and plan ahead. However, about four years ago, my plans were completely changed and taken out of my control. I was on track with my vision for the “perfect family”, I had a great marriage, a healthy son who was almost two, and another baby on the way. She was to be due the exact month I wanted, so I could have the exact birthday spacing I wanted… my plan was perfect. But, on this life changing day, in a matter of hours, a piece of the perfect family I had envisioned was suddenly gone and my world as I knew it changed forever. I suddenly lost my baby, Claire, over halfway through my pregnancy. It changed me in ways I didn’t predict, and not for the better. I couldn’t get over how my perfect plan wasn’t also God’s perfect plan; I was a good person, why did this happen to me? As time passed, I began looking for a purpose to this tragedy. I always believed that everything happened for a reason, that all happenings, good and bad are part of something grand. But, I couldn’t see how anything good could ever come from this.
This is where “growth is optional” became a real life decision for me. It didn’t happen overnight by any means. In fact, it took a very long time for me to reach a point where I was no longer angry or bitter. Change was very painful, but eventually, I was able to allow this experience to grow me.
First, I changed my focus from feeling sorry for myself, lying around and being depressed, to getting up off the couch and doing something positive. I decided to take action and pursue something I wanted. So, I set a goal of competing in my first fitness competition. This began my journey of finding my authentic self, in the wake of a difficult, confusing time. It forced me to get to the gym and learn new ways of working out through lifting weights. It forced me to change my eating habits, I actually had to eat, eat a lot, healthfully, and often.
Secondly, and more importantly, I changed my drive, passion and perspective. I decided to live life with purpose. I went from what I believed was my perfectly designed routine in my perfect life, to realizing that there was more to life than being alive; I needed to feel alive. Setting that goal of competing, following through with it and being successful in my first show ignited my flame. I broke through my glass ceiling and have been learning and growing from it ever since.
Change will come. So when it does, or if it has, what is a way that you can grow? The answer is different for everyone. For some, it comes easy and for others it takes time. The trick is realizing that you simply need to start with something. If you’re feeling like you’re in a rut, or you’ve been going through a difficult time, now is your opportunity to grow. Don’t spend too long looking for the perfect solution or the right answer, just start. Start with something that makes you happy, it can be as simple as a daily walking routine, starting a social group, or picking up that hobby you’ve been considering.
Did I mention it’s worth it?
You’ll be surprised with how simply starting can initiate growth in ways you did not anticipate. For me, it started as a goal but soon transcended to just about every level of my life. I found my passion, which brought me fulfillment and purpose. Losing Claire was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, but now I look back on it and thank her for teaching me the value of living. What lessons can you learn from changes in your life, and how can you grow as a person from them? This all relates back to the journey of finding your authentic self. We all have different reasons why we began the journey, but if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably already on your way. If you need that extra shove, here it is! Get out there and start doing something that makes you happy. Take the next step for YOU.
Change is inevitable, growth is optional. -John Maxwell
Clouds and dark skies are temporary. The breeze will change the trajectory of the future. Hold onto your authentic self until the sun shines. You are worth it.
First off, I would like to say a BIG thank you to everyone who read my first blog post. I am proud to say it was read around the world and I received a lot of wonderful feedback from you. I am so grateful for your love and support.
Since the last post, things have seemed a little brighter, and I’ve been paying attention as to why so I could share my progress with you. Recently, a big cloud of negativity was removed from my life – I left my job. Of course it was scary, awkward and intimidating. And, of course all of the typical thoughts rushed through my mind: how will I support my son Christian and I, where do I spend my time, what’s next and how do I get there? But, for a moment, I decided to put all of those thoughts aside and focused on the positive: I had made a big change in my life, something I had wanted for a long time. Once I made that mental shift, I was surprised at how my overall outlook and attitude changed. Sometimes when the clouds of negativity have shadowed you for so long, you forget what the warm sunshine feels like. Negative clouds, as we’ll call them, come in all different shapes and sizes: toxic relationships, self-criticism, or an unsatisfying job. Once we can identify these negative influences and are able to remove them, the sky opens up, the birds start singing and the things that used to bother you seem much less daunting.
This past Monday was my first day without a job. I had a window of freedom and I was ready to hit the ground running! I dressed in my finest workout clothes, dropped Christian off at school, ate my favorite breakfast (egg whites and oatmeal) and was off to the gym. I was feeling so pumped with my new sense of freedom that I decided to run there. The sun was shining on my face, there was a breeze keeping me cool, and I was ready to get after my workout!
I walked in to the gym like I owned the place and went up to the counter to check in. The man sitting behind the desk looks up my account, and much to my surprise, slams his hands down on the counter and says, “You haven’t been to the gym in over a 150 days!???” Yes, it’s true. I must confess… I haven’t worked out in months. So, before you start asking questions, let me tell you why. Remember that “negative cloud”? That played a significant role in fogging what was most important to me, I was neglecting my authentic self.
In the beginning of this foggy phase, I felt guilty about missing my workouts and I would get down on myself for it. But, I got to the point where I said, “Look B, you can either make excuses, feel guilty, or understand that where you are is temporary and be easy on yourself”. I chose to be easy on myself and let go of the pressure to get to the gym. However, that didn’t mean I had to let everything go, I knew I still had enough control to keep clean eating habits, and this could be my temporary compromise to myself.
After sharing the moment of surprise with the guy at the gym, he added, “Well you look awesome!” I smiled, thought of my personal compromise, and responded, “Thank you, I eat clean!”
My first day back at the gym!
I wanted to start off my journey back to the gym on the right foot; I called my coach and asked for a check-in session. I needed to have accountability, to be able to track my progress and see how much work I would have to do to get my body back to where it was when I had left off. When he pulled up my file, the last time I had checked-in was exactly one year ago to the day. We both looked at each other and were like “Whoa, that’s crazy!” I then stepped on the scale, and weighed the exact same amount as I did a year ago. I was expecting my weight to be way off from my last check-in. So needless to say I was pretty excited! I asked him how that could be possible knowing I had lost muscle, hadn’t been working out or following my program at 100%. He said because I continued with my healthy eating habits, even though I wasn’t working out, it was enough to maintain my weight. So although I lost six pounds of muscle during the gym drought, I did what I could and it paid off.
The point of my story is that negative clouds can move in and out of our lives from time to time. When the skies clear, your perspective changes, and the bad doesn’t seem so bad. However, the inverse is true; when the clouds move in and skies grow dark, we find it hard to remember what’s important to us, almost as if we’re tripping in the dark. It is during these times that you have the opportunity to find the one thing you can maintain. Find that one thing and do it to the best of your ability. It will pay off for you, just the way eating clean paid off for me in the long run. Tell yourself that the clouds are temporary, because they are. When the breeze blows and the skies clear, the one thing you held on to will be there to help you get back to your authentic self. Whether it’s nutrition, religion, an old friendship, whatever. Nurture it and hold on to it until the sun shines through.
It was a cold, cloudy, December day in Wisconsin. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting on the couch in our small living room with just my thoughts to occupy my time. I had a deep longing inside my soul for something more, something that would provide more fulfillment and give me purpose. I wanted someone to come along and hand me what I was looking for, give me an opportunity, or tell me what to do. But of course, it didn’t happen that way. As I was sitting there with my thoughts, I had a “light-bulb” moment, a significant moment in time where I felt something inside me rise up and say, enough! If I wanted more and if I had dreams inside my heart, I needed to chase after them. I needed to work for it and I needed to make it happen!
That may seem like a simple concept, and really it is, but the challenge lies within the work that comes after the realization that is not so simple. My journey has had many twists and turns of events, and to be perfectly honest, it’s been a long, hard road of finding out who I am, what my purpose is, and finding my authentic self.
I invite you to follow along on my journey as I continue to chase my dreams. My hope is that you will find inspiration through my story and have the courage to write your own. My story will evolve as I explore my love for fitness, my journey as a mother and my personal growth on this adventure we call life.
